Chaos and Power Triumph: Team Eastern's HYROX Showdown for 2Wish
PENALLTA, WALES – Saturday 8th November saw the infamous Team Eastern - a blend of five formidable women and five spectacularly disorganized men - storm GainFitness Penallta for a HYROX-style showdown. The primary mission was raising money for the children's charity 2Wish, a goal successfully contributed to with great team effort, community raffle and a surprisingly high turnover of sweets.
The event delivered on every promise: grit, madness, and enough unforgettable moments to last until next year's competition.
The Power Squad: From tears to thank-yous
The Ladies' team was relentless, mixing tactical brilliance with moments of sheer, exhausting psychological warfare:
Sian the Psycho (Captain) enforced military-grade discipline. Her inner "Scrappy Doo" energy was contagious, but also slightly alarming, ensuring maximum effort from everyone.
Courtney, the squad's secret weapon, remains an emotional enigma. She faced every daunting station with a perfect, unwavering smile. Spectators couldn't determine if the liquid streaming down her face was sweat, tears, or a complex reaction to the sheer volume of pain her body was experiencing.
Annalise gave a staggering 110%. Upon completion, she descended into glorious delirium, publicly thanking her teammates - her "captors"- for forcing her to compete, a true testament to the mind-breaking nature of the event.
Jo and Sian teamed up to tackle the punishing 400 Dumbbell Snatches, completing the task through pure, synchronised suffering.
Michelle, the silent hurricane, proved she has "legs faster than your excuses," annihilating the Bike and Skierg segments with terrifying efficiency.
The Chaos Division: Brotherhood, anxiety, and sustenance
If the women ran like warriors, the men operated like a highly disorganized, yet intensely motivated, touring comedy show. Crucially, the men truly worked together, supporting each other with words of (dry-witted) encouragement and crucial teamwork when the pain became too much.
Mark truly worked his heart out, but tragically earned the unofficial title of the King of the "No Rep." Following a string of bad calls, Mark developed palpable paranoia, shooting a wide-eyed, nervous glance at the judge after every single repetition. His dry, sharp-witted banter, however, was the perfect distraction for his equally anxious teammates.
Tim discovered a revolutionary HYROX strategy: skillfully avoid burpees and execute 110 Wall Balls instead. The man fueled by wine and cheese proved he can still rock up and smash it—even if his arms are now permanently stuck above his head.
Greg, our chilled-out powerhouse, found himself perfectly placed to tackle the Dumbbell Step-Ups when the team needed a strong hand. He delivered on his promise of being strong and "in the right place at the right time" by conquering a mind-blowing, unbroken set of 50.
Guto, small in stature but massive in determination, gave every ounce of his being, though he still maintains the Box Jumps were rigged against anyone under six feet tall.
Spencer, motivated purely by spousal fear (and maybe a little fitness), finished the last 1km run at a blistering pace to drag his team across the finish line strong.
Mark (yes, King No-Rep again) served a vital dual role: he was the official morale officer, keeping the entire operation fuelled with vast quantities of his world-class Nutella Banana Bread and a seemingly never-ending supply of Haribos.
Jason, the team’s super sub (who never gets on) and photographer, provided critical support and photographic evidence of the madness, ready to step in should the chaos become overwhelming.
Team Eastern’s performance was a spectacular demonstration that you can achieve great things, raise money for 2Wish, and still maintain a healthy amount of internal panic and sarcasm. Well done, heroes!
The team’s already planning their next adventure. Ready to challenge yourself, embrace the madness, and have a blast? Why not join Team Eastern’s in their next event!